As parents, we juggle a lot of tasks, we wear a lot of hats, and we expect a lot of ourselves and of our children. Do you ever wonder if you are doing too much? Or on the other hand, do you wish you could be doing more? This is a difficult balance to find each day- feeling as though we are living according to our priorities, not just giving them lip service or an entry in a journal once every year or few months. The reality is that we really cannot do everything we want to do when we want to do it. There are not enough hours in the day, right?
The great news is that it’s possible to live according to your priorities through asking for and accepting help.
When I work with my clients, one of the first questions that I ask them about is their support systems. You see, when someone works with a wellbeing coach, they get to describe their vision of what it would look and feel like to be at their optimal level of well-being. We talk about which areas of the vision are the key elements that would be catalysts for helping them feeling their best. We also talk about their strengths and values and the challenges that might arise on their course towards working on the key elements of their vision.
One of my favorite questions to ask my clients is who and what they have as support systems in their lives.
A typical response is “my friends and family.” I ask them to elaborate on that and use names. I love seeing their faces light up as they talk about their relationship with those who are most supportive to them and who they intend to use as accountability partners with their well-being goals. Just talking about this brings up gratitude and joy which, according to science, is beneficial to our health.
Who comes to mind when you think about supportive people in your lives?
Have you shared your goals with them and asked them to help hold you accountable?
How do you share your gratitude with them for what they are doing to support you?
I recommend that anytime you set new goals for your well-being that you share those goals with at least one person if not a few people.
Explain how you would like for them to hold you accountable, if they are willing. As your support network helps you on your journey, it is so important to share your gratitude in a way that resonates with you and them. For example, you could show your gratitude in a way that speaks to their love language.
If physical touch is their top love language, give them a hug!
If words of affirmation is their love language, send them a random text with a heartfelt expression of your gratitude.
If receiving gifts is their love language, buy them a coffee or a simple, meaningful gift.
If acts of service is their love language, have them over for a home-cooked meal.
If quality time is their love language, go somewhere they find enjoyable enjoy distraction-free time together.
By sharing your gratitude with your support system, they feel valued and will continue to support you.
You will likely support them as well, maybe not right away, but when the time is right or perhaps by just paying it forward by supporting someone else in need. Gratitude is such a powerful tool, right?
Along with having people as part of our support networks, there are countless other systems, resources and environments that we can harness as parents to help us live out our priorities. Here are a few tips within each type of support.
Environment
Set up your home and workspace in a way that makes the healthy choice the easy or automated choice. For example, if you are trying to cut down on sugar, don’t buy desserts. That way you don’t have to make the decision hundreds of times a day to say no to sweet temptations. Willpower deteriorates as the day goes by, my friends, and so even if we say no to the dessert all day long, I hear it quite often from my clients who are moms that they give in after they put their kids to bed. There is no need to beat ourselves up over this. If you avoid having the temptations in the house in the first place, the decision to say no to sugar is the easy or automated choice.
Systems
An important skill we need to have as mothers is to be flexible. In any given week, I cannot believe how often our plans have to change in our family, and I’m sure you can relate. At the same time though, it is wise to have some systems in place for how we run our schedule and manage our time so that simple, healthy habits are automated. Morning and bedtime routines and rituals are two examples of ways we can live out our priorities with strong systems in place.
Resources
The amount of virtual resources has blown up in the past couple of years, thanks to apps, youTube, social media and virtual programs. This can get pretty overwhelming, especially when you are a mom who doesn’t want to spend the time to determine what is the best fit for you. The number of decisions we make for healthcare, education, household items, services, activities, entertainment, groceries, clothing, fitness and well-being, and beyond are countless. I don’t know about you, but when deciding where to go and what to use, I often rely on referrals from friends, colleagues, family and people who I trust.
Consider your support network of people, environments, systems and resources and how you are able to live your priorities because of this vital network. How can you take some simple steps this week to show gratitude to your network and also to make sure your environment, systems and resources are best set up to help you succeed?
If hiring a professional to support you with your fitness and well-being goals is something you have considered, please know that I would be honored to be that person for you.
As a mother of four young children with twenty years of experience in the fitness and wellness industry, I would happily support you through this challenging and rewarding journey of being healthy as a mother! I specialize in helping my clients work through busy schedules to creatively and compassionately integrate self-care in way that feels right for each unique person. It is my goal to deliver workouts that make sense for the bodies of mothers of all stages while also being fun and feeling good. With special training and certifications in corrective exercise and prenatal/postpartum exercise, you can be confident that I lead with both heart and knowledge. Here are a few ways you can receive support from me.
Fit Mom Connection Resources To Help Support Your Self-Care Practice:
Virtual Exercise Class Membership. Hang out with me and other mothers live or onDemand to benefit from some fun exercise routines that are functional for the body of mothers. The first month is free so really there is no reason not to do it. There is something in it for all abilities, ages, stages, and interests.
30 Day Self-Care Challenge Want some support in making daily self-care a habit? This program will give you the daily motivation and tools to help you discover how life with self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity.
Work with me 1:1 You are a beautiful, unique individual, and I would be honored to help you tap into your strengths so that you can use exercise as a vehicle, along with a S.M.A.R.T. plan for turning your intentions into actions with the results you want. Whether it’s starting with a three month wellness coaching relationship or working with me for 1:1 Personal training, I am ready to chat about your needs and desires.
Sign up for one of my free resources which are pictured to the right of this post.
Subscribe to my youTube channel where I deliver weekly fit mom moments and 20 minute workouts.
Check out this week’s featured Fit Mom Moment: Dance Boxing. Oh mama! This one brings me back to my 21st birthday. I was not a partier during college, but my friends and family were determined to ring in my 21st with as much fun as possible on a Tuesday night on 3rd Street in La Crosse, WI. (I think there is a record number of bars on that one street!) The bar we were in was literally empty except for me and two of my friends, and we danced our @$es off to “Yeah” by Usher. Since then, it has always made me smile and think of that stage of my life.
This Fit Mom workout is a combo of two fun types of cardio- kickboxing and dance. I call it “Dance boxing!” Enjoy!
You are doing such a great job as a mother. Please remember to accept help and know that you will one day be able to pay it forward in your own special way. Cheers!
